21.02.2016 04:14:13
Lyriiia

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@Heavenleigh 
I could honestly almost laugh at the idea of the free meal at school being healthy. Growing up in a poorer district I can say hardly anything about those lunches were healthy, and they were gross. Have you ever seen comparisons between school lunches in America to other countries? It's insane. 
.
Another thing that I can say is. . . those unhealthy processed foods are cheaper, and they last longer. One good trip a month is normal when you're poor and lack transportation, so frozen foods and non-perishables are your only real option to stock up on. It's crap, but it's cheap and it lasts. Honestly you don't realize how true this is until you start trying to buy the healthier food. And then suddenly you can only afford to eat enough 3/4 weeks in a month but hey - there's no high fructose corn syrup! Fresh produce! (which costs bus fare both ways each week to keep stocked fresh and even then you can only get what you can carry!) It is really. really. really. hard.  

21.02.2016 20:14:35
xXxBottleCapsxXx

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I've never been a huge fan of how i look, but dieting was out of the question i love food too much. In my case though I had the advantage of being in a hunting family so as the old say goes you are what you eat; I was home grown and wild. But now that i moved out i realized how hard it is to eat healthy in a city it is so expensive and my eating habits have suffered big time. Its a real shame that the government won't focus on health food being cheaper then the junk. My older sister(shes an acupuncturist) told me an interesting fact about picking a diet, saying that depending on your blood type will indicate just what kinds of food your body specially needs. Its crazy how food can affect your mental health as well as your physically health. Lavender water is great for anxiety as well as raspberry leaf tea is great for a women's health especally if you have low iron levels

27.02.2016 21:02:01
maniatica

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intresting point of view!

i think TW is not really working, because traumatized people are triggert by very different things... like a certain smell, a certain move or certain pictures. not by reading a word... instead of a TW people should think about how much detail they have to give in a post to make a clear point, how pictorially they have to describe certain situations


CaliforniaDoll wrote:

So this is oddly on topic:
I'm dislike trigger warnings because life doesn't warn you before something happens. I'm avidly against them because of that, and avidly against them because most of my psychology classes deep coddling to be more hurtful to someone then 'triggering' them. The Atlantic has a really good article on it over here. I mean, there are a few situations that should be warned against because they're graphic or horrible, but it shouldn't be everything, you know? Basically, life sucks and you get sucky things out of it. If you constantly avoid any situation that makes you uncomfortable, you're disallowing your mind the ability to grow from that. 

I was raped. I didn't get a trigger warning when the girl in the dorm across from me came in and took advantage of me. I also didn't get warning when one of my best friends growing up didn't take no for an answer. The best thing that could have happened to me was meeting another rape survivor who didn't tiptoe around the topic or coddle me. He told me to snap out of it and realize that I'm alive, and what happened shouldn't consume me. Best advice I was ever given: Don't let the person who messed you up take your life from you.
I've also had an eating disorder most of my life. It's been a pain in the ass. I decided that I didn't want to be coddled on that topic either. I wanted to be strong. Fight it. I'm a survivor, dammit!
Of course depression has always been an issue because of those two instances, and losing most of my family members by the time I was 13. Embracing that sometimes life is out of your own control can help with this, or at least it did for me. Life is never going to be picturesque - it will always be about making the best of the crap you're given. 


Basically what I'm trying to say is that mental wellness begins with just respecting each other as human beings, and refraining from coddling each other. Someone who is perpetually told they're a victim will stay a victim - someone who is perpetually told they're a survivor, will fight to defend being a survivor. You have to empower people or, psychologically speaking, you're going to enable the negative mindset that hinders them to begin with - making growth and moving on from the issues more complicated. I'm 200% on board with a space for people to talk about their issues, but not if it involves coddling one another. We need to be empowered, we need to raise our hands and feel like we're not alone - we don't need to feel like we're being tiptoed around and treated as fragile nesting dolls because something happened to us. No way, J

27.02.2016 22:58:14
Remi

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I don't think trigger warnings are to coddle people. I think trigger warnings help people, to let them know what to expect before they read something so its not a surprise. Its like reading a synopsis before reading the book -  You know what you're getting into without having the ending spoiled for you, and if it doesn't sound right for you; you just don't buy the book. No life doesn't have trigger warnings and I don't ever expect it to, but having them on the internet is pretty helpful for people with anxiety disorders or PTSD. So they can prepare themselves before reading something or deciding if they're just not in the right mood to deal with that right now. Life will never have trigger warnings, but having them on the internet makes it a safer space for the people trying to escape from that fact. Obviously not putting a TW of every single thing you can think of till it inconveniences you, but things like rape and violence and obvious things.

Plus for some people - they do have real life trigger warnings. Their friends asking if a topic is okay for them to talk about around them. Not because they're coddling them, but because they care about them and know that some days you just need to avoid those topics and on others you need to talk about it.

Yes the world is awful and bad things happen and things will trigger you, but you don't necessarily have to make things harder and claim that you're doing it for their benefit. People should be able to heal on their own terms and at their own pace, and avoiding things some days doesn't mean they avoid them all the time. If you really were trying to respect each other, you'd respect them to get through it in their own way - instead of making them do it your way.

27.02.2016 23:23:34
HeavenLeighBimbo

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Adding to ^ :
I find this a fascinating topic when combined with the above comments.  Depression is likely the most coddled mental issue humans face in all areas of social behaviors. As if coddling the so called victim of depression is the cure.  I have friends who are their own cause for depression, by choices made by them.  Does a pill fix them, or coddle an already addicted mind to a medical solution to perceived problems that are always someone else's fault.  Criminality and murder has become a trend in America committed by people with depression.  Most of those victims of depression that go on to snap in a violent manner are also very well known by law enforcement that also coddled them with counseling, instead of job training or jail time.  Coddled by an entire system built to always respond to a victim.

 In the politically correct world survivors require no special attention or admiration, because they are much more common than people really realize.  I survived my very abusive father and survived my suicidal depression of teen aged anger.  To be honest when I see some of the so called victims talk publicly in the media about their experiences, it seems so rehearsed and scripted for the sympathy.  I could tell a story of a family holiday that would have been my common life with more emotional detail.  All the Worlds a Stage, and we are but actors playing a part in an outcome of self validation and monetary compensation.  I had to move on and put my past behind me with some luck.  Some people just don't see any way out, and keep reliving the past.

  My sister is nearly as wealthy as I am, and she is sooooo depressed, and drugged into inactivity.  That doesn't seem to be a very good cure for a victim of depression caused by our mothers murder and her own self-induced health issues.  Two women raised almost the same way, One remained a victim and the other a survivor.  My sister was always the coddled child, and she grew very good at the blaim game and the medical system and drugs.  I actually feel very sorry for her husband.  He must love her a lot because any lesser man would have left her decades ago when she let a perfectly fit and healthy body go because she let a little non crippling pain become a reason to rarely move and grow heavy and very demanding of the people around her.
  Even a huge dose of 'True Love' can't fix some depressions once they are coddled by drugs. 
  Her husband is the victim now, and so far I'd even say heroic.  I can't deal with her for more than an hour before I must leave out of disgust of how she manipulates him into enabling her depression. This really is what is happening to her because of her depression that she has learned to use as a crutch.  It really just seems crazy to me.

28.03.2016 17:06:39
Lyriiia

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There is a weird imbalance where people are perhaps coddled too much for mental health but at the same time most mentally ill people do not get the care they need and deserve. I find it interesting that someone said that criminals are coddled with counseling instead of training or jail time. Whereas I have a very different view point. In USA I feel like our prisons are much too full of mentally ill people. These people may have committed a minor crime, like possession of marijuana, or a more serious crime like murder. For the person who had marijuana they are now in prison with people who are realistically much worse people than they are. They have to adapt to the environment to survive, and come out more of a criminal than they came in. This person may have been using marijuana because they don't have the health care coverage or resources for proper medication and treatment of their mental illness. The prison may now be providing them with a medication but that's it, nothing to help them learn how to manage their symptoms themselves better. 
 
Okay my four year old won't stop talking and I can no longer think straight, I'm going to find an article that sums up what I'm trying to say rofl
 
Edit: I've got a great article, I'm working on pulling the most relevant quotes for those who don't have the time to read the whole article. 

28.03.2016 17:47:57
Lyriiia

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Some background to the incarceration of the mentally ill in the US prison system
http://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2000/03/pris-m06.html
 

" The US Department of Justice has estimated that 283,800 mentally ill offenders were held in... prisons and local jails at mid-year 1998. Additionally 547,800 mentally ill persons were on probation. 7 percent of federal inmates and 16 percent of those in state prisons or local jails or on probation said they either had a mental condition or stayed overnight in a mental hospital, unit or treatment program.
  A Michigan Community Health Department survey indicates the number of mentally ill suffering in prison may be even higher than the Justice Department figures. . .  the number of prisoners that screened positive for mental health concerns using standard survey methods was 12 percent, [however] the number rose to 34 percent when a psychologist interviewed each inmate in depth. . . Department of Community Health Director James K. Havemann, Jr. did not release the full results of the survey."
 
"What is most striking about these figures... is that society is reverting at a rapid pace to attitudes and conditions that pre-date the US Civil War.

 In 1837 American social reformer Dorothea Dix began a 30-year campaign to see that the mentally ill were taken out of the prisons, where many had been incarcerated. . .
Today, over 150 years later, the mentally ill are again being herded into prison instead of being cared for by society. The Wayne County Jail is now metropolitan Detroit's largest facility housing mentally ill people. In Michigan, jail officials admit they keep mentally ill prisoners because there is nowhere else to send them."
As a michigan resident of the metro-detroit area I personally confirm this is true. My own father has been in and out of the jail system and he will confirm this is true. 
 
"This is mostly the result of the closure of 13 of the state's 17 psychiatric hospitals. Even children are the victims of the budget cuts, with all but one psychiatric center for children in the state having closed in the last 10 years...

And once in the jails and prisons... only 61 percent of those identified as mentally ill in state and federal prisons and only 41 percent in local jails received any form of mental health service.

Jean Froh, a Detroit-area woman whose brother was killed in 1999 because he could not get the care he needed... wrote, "The sad and unconscionable truth is that the majority of the mentally ill who would best be served by inpatient care are either in jail, living on the street or dead. Many families feel helpless in this era of cost-cutting."

29.03.2016 04:41:29
HeavenLeighBimbo

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I just had sex with a neighbors husband.  I really am attracted to the wife,  but she was on holiday in Mexico, and he decided to visit me with Chelada's in hand.  I danced for him by request.  I purposely teased him, and even provided the condom.   Just to see what his wife was getting.  , my bad........   He was so small I faked it, and even then he came in 2 minutes of actually penetrating the woman he has lusted after, lounging by the pool for the last 3 years.
 I was shameless, and made a man cheat on his wife in less than a half an hour of putting on a dance outfit just to see a Mexican man's penis.  I'll keep his secret, but I'm going to have to fake it around his wife from now on.  I've only seen 12 of them in my whole life, so yeah I'm curious.  His wife is the one I'm totally lustful for.  My total opposite.  A 3 some?  I hope so.  It's something I've thought about for 3 years since meeting them.

  That's real mental health, to fuck around without it becoming emotional. Besides he is to timid right now.  He sort of had the deer in the headlights look on his face when he noticed I wasn't wearing panties.  
  I played the full court press, just to see if I still had my powers of sex appeal. He could have kept his hands in his pockets but the moment he touched the dancer, I CHANGED. I become the toy, and tonight I put away my rule book I usually play by.  I let him because he touched me seductively in rhythm to the music and dance and not disrespectfully. That turned me on so much !!!

   It was to easy.
  He didn't even come close to satisfying me,which I actually felt disappointment in not reaching.  I was sort of hopeful, because he really is attractive and normally a really good husband, and that's why I chose him to be a total slut with.  He is a safe man for me to have sex with.  Secrets and all. He wont even try to fall in love with me.  Men+me = major jealousy issues, and it is best for them to avoid becoming emotionally attached to me.

   I need dangerous sexual relations with men.  I can't emotionally handle them in any other way but a curiosity and toys to play with.  I can't actually fall in love with one, because they are all to predictable to me.
  He didn't pass my audition,  but  he asked to let him try again by the pool this summer, if he brings me something fruity with a paper umbrella in it.
  I laughed, and said OK.
  Maybe after some practice with his wife, he might be ready to try me again.
  I already gave him a free 'stand by' pass for boarding.

  All I can say is his wife better get home soon.
  Her husband is being eaten by a cougar.
34-28-34, six feet tall, green eyes and long blond hair.
  She has seen me, and is a 'fan-girl' of mine too, (it's weird, but I'm seen by look's as a goddess in her native Mayan culture and religion.) She acts very humble around me and really thinks I am the perfect woman.

      I'm worried about her mental health, if her husband ever does ask for a 3 some and suggests me to her.  She wont believe it. She is a very naive woman.  Her husband was her first and only man.  Mentally this bothers me now, because I now had sex with her husband, and discovered that his penis was so short.  I feel bad saying that, almost as bad as I feel thinking about that poor married woman who can't be very sexually satisfied in her marriage. I fantasize of providing her with the same pleasures I like, and it would excite me to do it with her, under-endowed husband watching.  My safe form of taboo sex.
There is a man right this very second who will always remember this sexual encounter because it was a once in a lifetime opportunity for him.
 That sort of feels good to me too be able to give a man a memory of what might have been, that will stay with him for the rest of his life.
Premature ejaculation, by pure sex appeal is a gift and talent my body provides with visual and mental ques men thrive on.  
Of course I wish It would have lasted a lot longer, but I have a feeling it wont be long till there is another knock on my door.
   A toy?
Yes,  and I'm not even sure who is using who?
   I guess I missed dancing, tonight and was all to eager to have someone watch and get aroused. I suppose I just always wanted to see what would happen if I let someone other than my dead husband touch me while performing. Mentally I was motivated to have sex for all the wrong reasons, but regret nothing and will do it again.

     


    

29.03.2016 13:51:34
Lyriiia

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That kind of behavior is typical of certain mental illnesses for sure.
 
My husband cheating on me was pretty much the straw that broke the camels back for out marriage, and it was with a woman we had talked about a threesome with but I just wasn't  ready yet and he could never give me the time I needed for anything. I've always said it's not anyone else's responsibility to make someone's partner stay faithful to them, but in my situation I knew the girl too. I too counted her as a friend and she knew exactly what she was doing to me and I went pretty hard at her with my words, and trust me I desire to go harder. She's not a strong person, leave me in a room alone with her for five minutes and she will come out broken and I'd never have to lay a finger on her. She can't handle my insane husband but she wanted to lie in my bed with him, I hope he destroys her with his insanity. But she panics and runs and declares she needs space over and over again, because he's too much.
 
I also definitely told her boyfriend and made certain he would not accept any bullshit excuses, everything she said to me in her pathetic attempt at an apology I covered with her boyfriend and why it was bullshit and he shouldn't accept that. Like "it was a moment of weakness" no bitch, you did it twice. That's not a moment.
 
Anyway, I hope this works out for you and that you get the girl too and don't become a homewrecker.

29.03.2016 18:39:28
Trina Jameson

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*TW - Suicidal thoughts,depression, anxiety
One of the things why I love this site is because I feel safe to post the things I hide to everyone, so...
As a child I never saw love in my family's house. Nothing against me but indirectly it affected me a lot. I grew up in a house with domestic violence. During these episodes I would have awful panic attacks and I learned how to build walls because I didn't want anyone to see what I was feeling. Specially my mom since she would always come to me as if I were her age and tell me things she shouldn't because I was too young. I always felt like the mom trying to protect a kid-my mom. So I hide everything and when exploded I would hit and kick walls even at the age of 6-7 and then pretend I had felt. Sometimes my mom would go crazy and have suicidal thoughts completely freaking out. When I was 8 she locked herself with me, swallow pills and tried to convince me t do the same. I refused and had a panic attack which made her force her vomit. My parents were super protective but at the same time were too busy with their stuff to actually supervise me. So, I always felt like I was alone. Those things stick with you. Specially when you tell your mom to divorce and she kept saying that she was enduring that horror for me- now that I'm older I know those words messed me because I always felt guilty in a way about what was going on but she was the one that decided to stay in that relationship no matter how much I told her otherwise.
I had an awful low self esteem and began wanting to die at 10 because I thought everyone would be better without me. I felt awkward and I was always smiling because the little things gave me huge happiness. My classmates would call me names, etc and kept saying my life was perfect and that I needed to know what real life is etc. They had no clue and one time I couldn't take no more and told them to shut up because my dad hit my mom every night and sometimes I would spend my nights at the hospital and then come to school the next day. They told a teacher and she scolded me because those were big accusations that I shouldn't make up!
I began living in this fantasy world to survive reality but eventually I began self-harming when having attacks because I would re-direction my anger towards myself. The journey to be where I am was very long and hard. I love myself now but the scars remain. Like once in a while out of the blue I get these cry attacks and feel like I'm not worth it, etc etc. Sometimes I think I might be bipolar because I'm great and then bam! I also suffer from anxiety like everyone is judging me...maybe because of situations like being bullied or being told to shut up etc it's like I'm being constantly judged by everyone. I learned how to deal with it better when I started to pretend every time I was outside I was not me. I was representing. 
I think I'm perfectly ok right now but I don't know how I can be in a hour or less because, that's just how it is. It's like I'm not me and I'm a teen again.
*Sorry if this was too long -.-