I woke up this morning with a pounding headache. I entered the bathroom and saw the weirdest thing in my bathtub. A strange man, seemingly unconscious. Still a bit groggy, I didn't think much of it. I washed my face while trying to recollect memories of last night. Then I heard a noise. It was the sound of the burglar alarm! Almost instinctively I grabbed the nearest thing to defend myself. I held the toilet plunger tightly while I peeked outside the bathroom door, with sweat pouring down each and every one of my pores. Sufficiently armed I tiptoed my way around the house searching for the intruder, ready to deliver toilet plunger justice. I was still drunk and couldn't really see what was in the dark hallway. Eventually I stumbled upon the kitchen, and that is where I first saw the llama.She was a big stuffed animal but I didn't own anything like that. I stepped forward carefully and poked the llama. I hit it a few times with my toilet plunger and guess what? It spit on me!I let a yelp out of despair and run frantically up the stairs. The llama chased after me, yelling the most obscure obscenities. The man, who had apparently regained consciousness, came out of the bathroom and met me halfway, choking out "Don't tell me you woke the beast?" I left explaining myself for more peaceful times and ran behind the man, effectively turning him into a shield. The mysterious man, who had been wearing a long dark robe, lifted his hood and transformed his slender fingers into intricate shapes, reciting a strange spell. "Mama Mia Diarrhea, Mama Mia Diarrhea." To my surprise, the llama stopped approaching me and started having a large bowel movement on my floor. I tried cleanng it up, but he ate it before i had the time. I was horrified, as you can imagine, with such disgusting thing. I aimed the toiler plunger towards the strange man and demanded an explanation. "Oh my sweet Plumber", the man knelt before me, a strange and familiar gleam in his eyes made me feel nostalgic somehow, "I'm no one, but Mario, your prince... Don't you remember me, my lovely peachy?" To be honest, no, I didn't remember him; I was pretty sure I was hungover & possibly hallucinating from too much "fun" the night before. So I said, while taking my distance, "No, I have no freaking prince", analyzing him better I noticed he absolutely could not be a prince with that fashion style; "Where is your crown, then?" "On my asscheeks" he abruptly replied, stroking his nipples in circular motions. Feeling uncomfortable, I decided that I was not up for sexual harassment by a strange man, prince or not, and pressed the button on the side of my toilet plunger that shot lasers out of it. Mario's chest hair caught fire. "That's quite enough of THAT," I told him. He yells "MAAAAAAAMAAAAA MAAAAAMAAAA" as he stops, drops, and rolls. I couldn't bring myself to move as I stared at him. Completely unsure how to handle some strange Plumber Prince with a crown on his ass rolling in my hallway. Speaking of rolling now I'm wondering if anyone slipped anything in my drink. I feel... dizzy. Maybe I'm still drunk from last night? No. I've been way drunker than this and it didn't feel like this. Why does everything sound like it's under water?
