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Ximboland Clock

lets be real here

Posts
17380
Created
14.02.2020
AlienPrinceFromVenus
Level 46
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 74495
Reputation: 33929
Posts: 715
Reasonopia
11.03.2020 06:08:34
AlienPrinceFromVenus

I should be heralded as a genius because I'm able to play Skyrim while having an actual story and character arc happen in my mind.

My Skyrim character is a dunmer who was born in Morrowind in a brothel, 90-ish years before the game happens. His name is Surma (it means violent murder by the way, you'll get why I named him that soon.)

Right, so my dude, born in a brothel, raised in a brothel. He ends up working there because he has no social status, belongs to no house and has no family name (all things highly valued in dunmer society).

Then one day he gets a customer who, turns out, is a Morag-Tong assassin. (they're a group of assassins who used to be able to work within Morrowind legally, because the big families of Morrowind are always feuding between themselves, and having a group of assassins who favour no house kill your rival was better than always going to small wars).

This Morag-Tong assassin is part of a splinter group that is trying to revive the guild, after they disbanded when the Red Mountain erupted. He recruits Surma because so far their group consists of people who only have skills for straightforward killing. Surma's training as a prostitute obviously includes training in how to get people to like you and feel comfortable around you, so by training him to be an assassin as well the group expands to having a skillset for jobs that require some sort of infiltration.

Surma enjoys being a Morag-Tong assassin, because the Morag-Tong are considered a family of their own. When you join them you shed your old family name and the loyalties that came with it, and take on the name of Morag-Tong. In Surma's case he got a family name where he'd never had one before.

Things go well for a couple of decades, but then they get a contract. An important one, from a memeber of a very influental family in Morrowind. The contract is on a Telvani mage, and Surma is chosen to take it. But what their employer had failed to mention was that the Telvani mage was also a powerful vampire, and Surma utterly fails in killing them. The vampire runs away, and the employer demands the Tong punish him for his failure. Not wanting to kill him, the man who originally recruited Surma exiles him instead. Surma escapes to Skyrim, where apparently he's the Dragonborn now, and feeling pretty salty about how things ended with the Morag-Tong he joins their enemy, the Dark Brotherhood.

He focuses on what's important, worshipping Mephala and making money. It's all very therapeutic. Maybe he also ends up adopting a whole orphanage's worth of children to be trained as assassins. It's all for self care purposes. He's also totally dating Nazir. Talk about inapropriate workplace relationships.

11.03.2020 06:08:34
They/Them 
AOL
AOL
Level 37
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 40094
Reputation: 11802
Posts: 101
Atheista
11.03.2020 16:35:07
AOL

i wish it was the end of the week already!!!! i feel like doing something fun

11.03.2020 16:35:07
                                         
NixieFae
Level 35
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 33567
Reputation: 13364
Posts: 143
Reasonopia
11.03.2020 17:15:15
NixieFae

I just wanna play video games all day and not do laundry 

11.03.2020 17:15:15
"A room without books is like a body without a soul"
Tiramisu
Level 30
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 21543
Reputation: 14482
Posts: 50
Secville
11.03.2020 17:59:28
Tiramisu

I can't wait to due fun stuff with my grandma this summer/spring. I have so many ideas we could do! ♡


also I'm gonna try for my hot girl summer that I missed

11.03.2020 17:59:28





















Doreen
Level 22
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 8306
Reputation: 6298
Posts: 264
Agnostica
12.03.2020 04:56:36
Doreen

irl I'm in a LDR and I just feel neutral about it, like if we broke up I wouldn't really be sad at all. I'd honestly feel relieved

12.03.2020 04:56:36
Twink Pride
Level 18
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 4611
Reputation: 4627
Posts: 6
Agnostica
12.03.2020 08:00:45
Twink Pride

its 4am and im on this site i feel like im going crazy

12.03.2020 08:00:45
Cum_Dumpster
Level 131
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 1775403
Reputation: 154507
Posts: 1282
Freethinkerland
12.03.2020 08:22:05
Cum_Dumpster

AlienPrinceFromVenus wrote:
I should be heralded as a genius because I'm able to play Skyrim while having an actual story and character arc happen in my mind.

My Skyrim character is a dunmer who was born in Morrowind in a brothel, 90-ish years before the game happens. His name is Surma (it means violent murder by the way, you'll get why I named him that soon.)

Right, so my dude, born in a brothel, raised in a brothel. He ends up working there because he has no social status, belongs to no house and has no family name (all things highly valued in dunmer society).

Then one day he gets a customer who, turns out, is a Morag-Tong assassin. (they're a group of assassins who used to be able to work within Morrowind legally, because the big families of Morrowind are always feuding between themselves, and having a group of assassins who favour no house kill your rival was better than always going to small wars).

This Morag-Tong assassin is part of a splinter group that is trying to revive the guild, after they disbanded when the Red Mountain erupted. He recruits Surma because so far their group consists of people who only have skills for straightforward killing. Surma's training as a prostitute obviously includes training in how to get people to like you and feel comfortable around you, so by training him to be an assassin as well the group expands to having a skillset for jobs that require some sort of infiltration.

Surma enjoys being a Morag-Tong assassin, because the Morag-Tong are considered a family of their own. When you join them you shed your old family name and the loyalties that came with it, and take on the name of Morag-Tong. In Surma's case he got a family name where he'd never had one before.

Things go well for a couple of decades, but then they get a contract. An important one, from a memeber of a very influental family in Morrowind. The contract is on a Telvani mage, and Surma is chosen to take it. But what their employer had failed to mention was that the Telvani mage was also a powerful vampire, and Surma utterly fails in killing them. The vampire runs away, and the employer demands the Tong punish him for his failure. Not wanting to kill him, the man who originally recruited Surma exiles him instead. Surma escapes to Skyrim, where apparently he's the Dragonborn now, and feeling pretty salty about how things ended with the Morag-Tong he joins their enemy, the Dark Brotherhood.

He focuses on what's important, worshipping Mephala and making money. It's all very therapeutic. Maybe he also ends up adopting a whole orphanage's worth of children to be trained as assassins. It's all for self care purposes. He's also totally dating Nazir. Talk about inapropriate workplace relationships.
I'm putting out a Dark Brotherhood contract on the fool that disliked your post!

12.03.2020 08:22:05
ChumDumpster's wife irl  
Update 2022: Site has been soured for me so I took a break. Still not certain about coming back...
AlienPrinceFromVenus
Level 46
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 74495
Reputation: 33929
Posts: 715
Reasonopia
12.03.2020 11:13:21
AlienPrinceFromVenus

Cum_Dumpster wrote:
I'm putting out a Dark Brotherhood contract on the fool that disliked your post!
Thanks babe <3 Surma will be on it like, idk. Like on Azura's Star? I just woke up you can't have expectations and standards for me yet!

12.03.2020 11:13:21
They/Them 
Doreen
Level 22
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 8306
Reputation: 6298
Posts: 264
Agnostica
12.03.2020 18:07:47
Doreen

I dont want to get out of bed today

12.03.2020 18:07:47
Bimkko
Level 41
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 54207
Reputation: 18821
Posts: 253
Atheista
12.03.2020 18:58:29
Bimkko

i'm really stressed because of massive schoolworks and its giving me dandruff breakouts, but more importantly i discovered today that i didnt hate fanta anymore, or more that i hate the taste while drinking it, but love the amount of fizz it has, and the aftertaste. i'm also very perplexed about fanta, i recently discovered the looks of og american fanta and its so orange!! so bright!! and i cant help but wonder what it taste like, cause no way it tastes similar to the yellow european one. but i cant be bothered to make an international order just to find out. 

12.03.2020 18:58:29

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Frequently Asked Questions


What is Ximbo land ?
The Internet republic of Ximbo lands is the worlds first Internet republic.

What is its mission?
To unite the world.

Where is MissBimbo.com? Miss Bimbo was much better than this site.
The Internet republic of Ximbo land was created by Miss Bimbo herself and is its more intelligent successor. The old site was for junior bimbos. This site is for intelligent Ximbos.

What is the national flag of Ximbo land?
Ximbolands Flag

When was the Internet republic of Ximbo land founded
2007

What is the capital city of the Internet republic of Ximbo land?
Bimbo City

How many states make up the internet republic of Ximbo land?
There are 6 states that make up the internet republic of Ximbo lands. They are ­ Atheistia, Freethinkerland, Reasonopia, Agnostica, Secville, and Antitheocra. Bimbo City is the neutral administrative capital and is its own city zone. Boob Island is the home of the President of the Internet republic of Ximbo land

What is a Ximbo citizen?
A ‘Ximbo’ or ‘Ximbo citizen’ is a member of the internet republic of Ximbolands community.

How can I become a Ximbo citizen?
In order to become a citizen of Ximboland you must first pass the Ximbolands citizens test. It is free to become a Ximbo citizen.

What is a Ximbo senator?
A Ximbo senator is a senior member of the Internet republic of Ximbo land. Only senators are eligible to put themselves forward for election to become State Ministers and then ultimately the Prime Ximbo.

Who is the Prime Ximbo?
The Prime Ximbo is the democratically elected head of the Internet republic of Ximbo land.

Where does the Prime Ximbo live?
The Prime Ximbo lives in the Pink House for the 4 month term they are in office.

I want to become Prime Ximbo. How do I do that?
Any Ximbo citizen can become Prime Ximbo using the democratic process. Its a 3 stage process from Senator>State Minister> Prime Ximbo. All Ximbo citizens can vote in general elections but in order to put themselves forward to become Prime Ximbo they must first become a Ximbo senator. All Ximbo senators are electable as state ministers. State Minister elections take place every 4 months also. Only state ministers are eligible to then become the Prime Ximbo.

Can I become Prime Ximbo more than once?
Yes ­ a Ximbo can hold the position of Prime Ximbo for 3 terms max.

How often do elections take place?
The Internet republic of Ximbolands holds elections every 4 months for Prime Ximbo and 4 months for State Minister.

Where do important discussions take place?
The Forum.

What is the treasury/Prime Ximbos salary?
The treasury/salary is the bank account of the Internet republic of Ximbo land. This figure is transferred to the paypal account of the Prime Ximbo at the end of their 4 month term in charge.

How is the treasury calculated?
The treasury is funded by the Ximbo citizens.
A percentage of the money paid by Ximbo citizens via Paypal and SMS is transferred into the Ximbo treasury. The rest is wisely used for further game development.

What's the national colour of Ximbo land?
Pink

How old must I be in order to become a Ximbo land citizen?
Anyone over the age of 18 are welcome to become a Ximbo citizen.

When are the national holidays of Ximbo land?
Jan 1st ­ New years day
Feb 12th ­ Darwin day
Feb 14th ­ Lovers day
March 8th ­ Womens day
March 21st ­ Spring solstice
April 13th ­ The Hitchslap Day (Christopher Hitchens birthday)
May 3rd ­ National day of reason
June 21st ­ World Humanist Day
Aug 2nd ­ The Internet republic of Ximbo land national day
Sep 21st ­ Peace one day
Dec 25th ­ Newtons birthday

What is the currency of Ximbo land?
The Ximbo Dollar (B$). Currently it is pegged in value to the US$

Who is the President of Ximbo land?
Miss Bimbo is the president of Ximbo land. She founded the bimbo nation in 2007 after escaping the tyranny, bigotry and and conservatism of the old world. You can read more about her here and here

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