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How do you make someone fall inlove with you?

Posts
9
Created
13.08.2018
Author
Emizo
Emizo
Level 17
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 3693
Reputation: 3070
Posts: 18
Freethinkerland
13.08.2018 11:34:05
Emizo

I've tried cooking for the guy
bought him a birthday present (and he's not even my boyfriend -yet-)
Bought him food!
We have a good sexual relationship.
I'm always showing him I care.
We were even good friends before, we make each other laugh all the time.
We talk everyday (have been for 7 months)

So why does he not love me yet? And he never talks on the subject of committing to me/ making me his girlfriend etc. He told me he likes me, once.
Other than that he never really expresses his emotions/feelings about me, and I don't wanna pressure him and scare him off.
It makes me think he just wants me for sex. (I asked him if he does just want the sex, he said no, but men lie.) *rolls eyes*
And every time we see each-other we just end up having sex, so I feel like i'm just a beat.

I haven't asked why he hasn't taken anything further because there's obviously a reason behind it, so i'll probably just get rejected. 

Any advice?
Shall I just drop it?
Or am I rushing things... isn't 7 months long though!?
OR 
Does this guy seriously just want me for my body...

Also, how do you actually make someone fall in love with you? LOL

13.08.2018 11:34:05
~ a ToXic ViXen's Curiosities .
Sandi Lut
Level 280
Status: Senator
Sex Appeal: 25250347
Reputation: 260035
Posts: 4151
Antitheocra
13.08.2018 12:00:35
Sandi Lut

Well actually making someone fall in love with you is impossible in my opinion. Real love has to grow.
As for your "friend", he either has commitment issues (as many guys have) or he just enjoys the situation he has now. Maybe just ask him if he has commitment issues (not just ask out of the blue of course, timing is everything). You're not rushing things as I see it, 7 months is long enough to ask for some sort of commitment.
But when I see what you do for him I wonder if he does all that for you too. Maybe he really likes you but just doesn't love you. But you should ask yourself if you really love him for what and how he is or if you're in love with what he could be. Love is such a hard emotion to deal with because it clouds your mind. Maybe try taking a distance from him for a few days just to see if he misses you as much as you miss him (and not just for the sex).
It's hard giving advice as I don't know you or your friend. I hope it helps a bit. Good luck :)

13.08.2018 12:00:35
Happiness is inside yourself

OMG123
Level 16
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 2958
Reputation: 2882
Posts: 8
Atheista
13.08.2018 12:53:07
OMG123

Do not ever try to make someone fall in love with you. If they love you it will come natural and they will do whatever it takes to “keep you”. You sound like a great girl and he is probably taking advantage of the fact that you care for and love him. You should never feel the need to want to make somebody love you. Trust your gut instincts always and always put yourself first!!!

13.08.2018 12:53:07
HeavenLeighBimbo
Level 129
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 1695423
Reputation: 258672
Posts: 7188
Freethinkerland
14.08.2018 00:31:21
HeavenLeighBimbo

I was listening to a radio-show, where the guest was talking about this subject, and I thought her comment's were brilliant !!!!
  I've been questioning myself as well, with my "adulterous" relationship with Jackie, and her 3 children, while her husband is in jail for the 7th time in 3 year's............ [ much more to the story,  but, another time...]

   The guest was talking about love, on an 'Eternal'- time frame........   and said something that totally SHOCKED ME, yet it was exactly what "I DID" for my husband, before he died.    The guest ; Summed it up; Awesomely like this :
   [QUOTE=GUEST]
   Love isn't a feeling, it's a behavior, two people have for each-other. [/endquote]

        For me I would do anything for Jackie,  but it isn't what she needs.  She 'FEELS' in love with a man who values drug's over her and her children,  so he gives her nothing but hell. Jail time away from her, and NO money to even care for the children.
    However when he is free from jail, till caught doing and selling drug's and sent back for what seems to be an endless probation violation, that will never end with HIM..... She cook's for him. Clean's up after him, and has sex with him. WHY,    What is the man's behavior, in this relationship?  His entire goal in life, is to use and sell drug's and have sex.

    I see no love in it,   but because Jackie can only see 'his' sex and lie's as her only feeling's about him, she calls it LOVE.
               Beware of sexual Hormones, they are powerful too !!!!!!!!

If you are the only one making an effort, and giving 'the guy' sex too, with no feeling's  involved ----> always being the 'GIVER'  Remember this : You can't BUY love because it become a situation of " being Used, by Love, for Sex or object, by the Male " 
( It goes both way's of course)
    You will eventually end up just like the woman I love,   Jackie....   In a relationship that is crushing her soul, and will eventually destroy her family.  She is already in total poverty,  so  I suppose  her pride is even so great, she can't even see the people ALL AROUND her who love her more than the man she married, by behavior and kindness.
   Jackie is Blinded by a drug addict she married anyway's despite knowing his history,
 because she 'feel's love only when he is in Jail, and on the phone/while sober.   Haha.    

I show her I love her,  and I knows she love's me back, by her behavior with me.  She know's who I am, totally,  but keep's my secret's, that could get me killed.  Never once has she begged me for money, even though she KNOWS,
                                     I would give it to her in a more helpful form than CASH.
  Her children love me unconditionally,  that for them I'm a just a second mother to them.
          Behavior, is the first sign of love,  and if kindness doesn't exist,  it never will.
    Sex is what confuses most people into very bad relationship's.

  [said the ex-stripper]    haha,   I made a fortune$$$$, off of men and this confusion of sex and love they have for a woman who just pays even the lightest bit of attention to them.   How many do you guess were married-men in love?
   Sometime's while naked on a 'private stage-party', I felt more like a marriage counselor, than a stripper.
   My husband  treated me to a warm bubble-bath and candle's and FOOD !!!!   I was usually to sore and in pain for SEX and he  would just sooth my body with his hand's.    This is how my husband treated me, when I would get home from work.
  His behavior was so loving to me,  I find myself STILL LOVING him after he has been dead for nearly 7 year's.........
   Something I remember with TRUE LOVE, for him.  Was how devoted I was as his wife. 
    This was a PERSONAL Achievement  for me as a SLUT for cash.      I could be 'any-whore' a man wanted me to be, and run AWAY at any moment.....    but my husband was so kind to me,   NO MAN could even tempt me. I Wanted to go home to him.  I would sexually charge myself UP, while dancing,   just knowing  my husband would touch me,  and I would quiver, and instantly be aroused by just a single kiss.............    He was much to good for me !!!!!!!

Jackie is my Nemesis.   The girl I once WAS before,  I had babies with a man. I loved DEARLY.
   Emotional.  I'm still a cry-baby, about Jackie........    LOVE hurt's too.   I can't fix her problems.   Only she can fix a behavior she accepts::as LOVE:::::-> all by herself. 

14.08.2018 00:31:21
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Mindy
Level 104
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 880414
Reputation: 129351
Posts: 1502
Agnostica
14.08.2018 03:44:26
Mindy

Emizo wrote:
I've tried cooking for the guy
bought him a birthday present (and he's not even my boyfriend -yet-)
Bought him food!
We have a good sexual relationship.
I'm always showing him I care.
We were even good friends before, we make each other laugh all the time.
We talk everyday (have been for 7 months)

So why does he not love me yet? And he never talks on the subject of committing to me/ making me his girlfriend etc. He told me he likes me, once.
Other than that he never really expresses his emotions/feelings about me, and I don't wanna pressure him and scare him off.
It makes me think he just wants me for sex. (I asked him if he does just want the sex, he said no, but men lie.) *rolls eyes*
And every time we see each-other we just end up having sex, so I feel like i'm just a beat.

I haven't asked why he hasn't taken anything further because there's obviously a reason behind it, so i'll probably just get rejected. 

Any advice?
Shall I just drop it?
Or am I rushing things... isn't 7 months long though!?
OR 
Does this guy seriously just want me for my body...

Also, how do you actually make someone fall in love with you? LOL

First...there is no assurance that you can make someone love you...but you know that.  And yes...he could just want you for sex, but it sounds like you talk lots, so probably not.

That said, maybe he already does.  Not everyone is comfortable expressing themselves for various reasons.  Maybe he avoids the subject because he knows he is not ready to say it...wouldn't you?  Maybe because you were friends he is holding off because he is scared of that "change."  Or maybe he needs to get to a super deep level before he is ready to say it.

How old are each of you and how much dating experience?

How long were you friends?  What made you guys hook up?  Was it him asking you out...booze...a what the hell, why not....

Do you hang out with his family much?

Guys eyes always stray...but is he over the top?

Do you go on dates and such or is it just hanging out and sex?

Consider  a small trip to see how you are together isolated.

If after say a year (throwing it out there, it might be sooner, might be later...only you know that....but don't think he has to be on the same timetable) he hasn't expressed it, then maybe you need to be blunt and ask him where he sees the relationship going.  Don't ask if he loves you or try to force it though...they likely just makes him feel awkward and may create a wedge.

14.08.2018 03:44:26
Make your parents proud, your enemies jealous, and yourself happy.  The only thing that can prevent you is you! 

Hugz to my BL: stalker...you know who you are.  Lil creepy, but thanks for the pedestal. 
HeavenLeighBimbo
Level 129
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 1695423
Reputation: 258672
Posts: 7188
Freethinkerland
14.08.2018 04:50:05
HeavenLeighBimbo

I'm in 100% agreement with Mindy in her above^ post too.   
 I LOVE her 'Urban' style of several OPEN QUESTIONS  .
   Oh my ?  ,   did I just get WET?
       I've loved her for year's.............   toO in bimbo-lands 
    I would suffer answering every single question she asked in her above post,   willingly as a submissive, in a thong.
   I love her that much too.   :p
   Topics like that might need new Thread's for me....   I could go so 'off topic',   with just a single answer........

           Love can be like that.  It is never just exactly what you expect it to be. 
  My eventual husband, never even knew I was a dancer-for hire, till after our wedding.
   I didn't want him to feel any pressure to perform.....   Hahahaaaaa
  I was forced to Hide my personality from him for over 9 months.  I was a total TEASE, but his romantic gesture's WON my Heart.   I didn't make it easy.   I was a total Bitch, in collage.   My husband Challenged me intellectually, and it was a good start doing assignment's together.  Finding common interest's in study,  and even better was being able to help each other, in subject's one would find more difficult than the other.   I wrote most of my husband's English paper's, even though my degree is in psychology.    An insane MIX, and a chance-meeting.
   My husband eventually, ended up dropping out of collage to be a builder........, and he did alright for our children, but my shopping habit's  I paid for personally.
  I kept a separate bank account, so he wouldn't find out EVERYTHING about me.       Yes, I kept a secret from him,  but not a harmful one.....    I just didn't want him to know just how 'valuable I was'.....   It was a kindness in respect for the man who worked so hard to win my heart.        Money as an issue in my marriage frightened me the most.
    Can a common man love a Princess the way she desire's to be LOVED?
  For who she is, in a world ruled by wealth and reputation?[* There is a very long story why I say that,  but off-topic}]
           Any man that could tame me, must be a Saint, cowboy, fireman, or angle........   
   Falling in true love was the best part of my life, and it took absolutely no effort to do it....... 
              We just made time to be together after classes.
[ and nobody had cell-phone's back then ether :/  We communicated in PERSON ! ] 
  A Princess is noticed
 When She is SEEN, for everything she is.

14.08.2018 04:50:05
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Emizo
Level 17
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 3693
Reputation: 3070
Posts: 18
Freethinkerland
14.08.2018 09:28:21
Emizo

HeavenLeighBimbo ^ your story is inspiring and you express things so well. Do you write?

That 'Love is a behaviour' quote has come as such an epiphany to me. It's very true.
Actions speak louder than words, I guess.

As Mindy and Omg123say; I definitely won't try to force it, nor worry about it much longer, i'll perhaps give him more time to come to an understanding of how he feels.

Sex is a powerful hormone! It's clouded my judgement one too many times. 

Anyway, PLOT TWIST with this guy i'm currently talking to.
I slept with his best-friend of 10 years before we started 'hooking-up'. I slept with him several times, during the time me and him were just friends.
I told him though, as soon as we started talking properly. And he accepted it. At-least he 'said' he accepted it. This is perhaps, his subconscious reason for slowing things right down with me, which I unfortunately cannot complain about. 

It's awkward, us 3 being in the same room together,because we all know, and say nothing. He's so sensitive, this guy I'm unfortunately falling in love with, and that's exactly why he refuses to state how he feels. 

His friend and I had a very fun, deep sexual relationship, simply because we had no emotional ties to each-other. He still looks at me with this sexual lust in his eyes.
Maybe he sees this...

I never ever wanted to be in this situation, and if I had control over my emotions i'd get myself right out of it. because it's CODE RED. Believe me...

My heart just hopes, its somehow, meant to be. I hope he still talks to be truly because he likes me and can see past the past. Or if it's not meant to be I hurry up and get over it.

Thank you for the advice :).

14.08.2018 09:28:21
~ a ToXic ViXen's Curiosities .
thulatalula
Level 33
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 28410
Reputation: 9985
Posts: 200
Antitheocra
14.08.2018 23:41:58
thulatalula

If he's beating around the bush after all of that, you can do better. Move on

14.08.2018 23:41:58
Carmel
Level 41
Status: Citizen
Sex Appeal: 52585
Reputation: 26615
Posts: 211
Secville
16.08.2018 04:03:35
Carmel

I see you have a lot of great advice already. HLB you are amazing on this topic. I think love is an action, It is not just something you say, you do it as well. I remember when I was getting married I got a lot of advice. One of the things that stuck with me was when my Aunt said there is a difference between love and lust Lust keeps you up at night lust will keep you broke and lust will keep you hungry..Love will keep you rested love will make you rich and love will keep you full..when you're in love you will work to give you partner everything make sure its love because love will take care of you. Is he taking care of you in all aspects of your life.

16.08.2018 04:03:35

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